Transitions in marriage

 There were a lot of interesting things that we learned this week. I felt the things we talked about were very constructive. There are a number of pro tips that Brother Williams offered us. 

The first from research or statistics teach that anything over $2500 on a wedding ring increases the chances of divorce. I found that very interesting. I don't remember the cause and correlation of why. However, it would debunk the tradition thought process of the more you spend the more invested you probably are.

Second, prenuptial agreements are like starting the divorce papers right at the beginning. Which surprised me, to me it seemed like a logical thing to do to limit the risk or hit of getting a divorce. However the better way to do it is to bring, and put everything on the table and then make it each others. What mine is your and yours in mine. I can perceive that to maybe be an awkward challenge in the future for me. On a slightly side note, with your finances,  You really want to have your finances on a joint account. When they are separate it creates disunity. Together will also provide opportunity to work together and grow closer together. Your decides will need to be made together 50/50 to be successful. This is a good spot to throw why cohabitation doesn't work as well, because when you are living together. You almost never will see joint accounts, so what happens is, after marriage they maintain it that way. Cohabitation is garbage don't do it. 

With the transition in between engagement period and marriage it can be tough. There are different opinions as to how long you want that process to be. Some people have taught that it should be short, because temptation is a real thing in that period of time which is true. However what adds on top of that, is the fact that you can create bad patterns in that period. Brother Williams suggest that it be no longer than 3 months. After that it can just get real messy. 

Another interesting subject is the actual wedding day. the average wedding in the USA is like 34K. New weds don't have that kind of dough. So they will usually rely on others to help pay. Particularly the parents of the wife. You really don't want to do that, because that will create an obligation to do what they want in your marriage. Also they will then feel obligated to bet a part of the wedding planning, which could take away from the couple growing closer together. 

Lastly, my take aways are, first, to have a in expensive wedding. Under 10K including the honeymoon. They say the less expensive the wedding and more people attend the better it promotes a lasting marriage. Second, my wedding ring will be $2500-$4000 not anymore. Third, have an engagement of 3 months or less.